Mrs. Dalloway and the Pressure to Conform

In the novel Mrs. Dalloway, Clarissa spends the entire day (and book) wondering what could have been if she had taken a different path in life. When she meets her old love and long time friend, Peter, memories come rushing back of the passionate time they spent together. Recalling the lack of passion between her and her current husband, she dwells on the thought that she could have been happier had she accepted Peter's proposal.

She rejected his proposal for the hand of her current husband, Richard, for security and status. Richard is a very prosperous and respected gentleman in society who is hardworking and provides a stable life for Clarissa. Life with Peter would be more passionate, but she knows that he would never be able to provide her with the materialistic things in life. Since Richard is the "safer" choice, and is higher on the societal totum pole, Clarissa ultimately chooses status over love. However, throughout the entire novel she worries whether she made the right decision.

Clarissa knowingly rejected passion and love for the sense of security and high status because that is what society dictates as more important. Clarissa is plagued with worries of what others think of her, which is why she is so desperate to conform to what society expects. She knows that she would be ranked higher in the social classes of London if she were Mrs. Dalloway, in stead of Mrs. Walsh. It this purely her desire for acceptance and the pressures of society that lead her to marry Richard and live a prosperous, yet dull life.

Yet, this is not the only time Clarissa succombs to the pressures of conforming. Her passion and romantic kiss with Sally never materialized into a relationship because it would not be considered "acceptable" by mainstream society. Clarissa chooses to refuse her desire to be with Sally in order to preserve her reputation. Being homosexual in that time period, late 1800's, was widely disgraced and by choosing to be with Sally, Clarissa would be sacrifising her status. Again, she ranks status over love and chooses the conventional mate, Richard.

Again, the same pressures exist today for us to conform to the expectations that our society places on us. We are so worried about what people may think of us that we sacrifince our true desires and dreams. Some never seek out their dream job because of their parents' pressure for them to become a "doctor or a lawyer". It would be unacceptable to pursue a career in acting or music since its not a "stable job". As a whole, we think too much about pleasing others and let the fear of their disapproval keep us from reaching our goals and dreams in life. This book reminded me of the fact that some decsions affect the rest of our lives, and that we need to make sure that we are making such important decsions for ourselves, and not to please others. If we do not, we could end up like Mrs. Dalloway, forevering wondering whether she made the right decision.